Finding Heavenly Mother: Jenni finds her as she sings

How I Found Heavenly Mother
Jenni Brighton

It was simple and I had understood since childhood. God is married, we have a Heavenly Mother, but we don't really talk about Her. She's there, and that's all we need to know.

I had been content with this my entire life. Truly. I knew other women who felt patronized by patriarchy and wanted to reach out to a Feminine Divine, but I was no feminist. She was there, and that was good enough for me. I never sought Her out. But She sought me.

One night, almost exactly two years ago now, I was trying to get my baby to sleep. He was fussy, and I sat in my room rocking him back to sleep for over an hour. As I rocked him, I sang to him. Truthfully, when I sing to my babies I'm partly singing for me, so I pick the songs I like best. One of my favorite hymns is "How Great Thou Art," and since I know all the words it frequently
appears in my lullaby repertoire.

As I sang the third verse of that hymn, I thought of my love for my own sons, and of our understanding of  "God" as including both Father and Mother, and I was overwhelmed at the thought of not just a Father 'sending his son' but of a mother--what if I were asked to send my son. I looked down at my baby boy. Somehow viewing it from a motherly perspective made the atonement infinitely more personal for me: voluntarily sending one of my sons to give his life for my other children.

Truly, I scarce can take it in! In all honesty, I don't know whether I would be able to do it.
 

And when I think that God [Her] son not sparing

Sent him to die

I scarce can take it in...

Then sings my soul my [Mother] God, to Thee

How great Thou art!

How great Thou art!

(Hymns # 86, v. 3)

I was overwhelmed.



Moon Goddess by Josephine Wall

The brilliant white waxing moon shone through my bedroom window, illuminating my entire bedroom in spite of being only a crescent. As I absorbed the moonlight I pondered on nature and the beauty of the universe, and thought it was no wonder that ancient cultures had attributed feminine deity to the moon.

In the  months leading up to that night, I had been thinking about paganism because I wanted to find a more mindful way to observe the passage of the seasons. Just a few weeks prior to that night I had been talking with an LDS friend who suggested that one of the great things about paganism was its open acceptance of Mother Goddess. "Oh," I said, "I'm really in it for the seasonal observances, I've never felt a particular desire to seek Heavenly Mother."

But it seems I did not have to seek Her, I only needed to be open to receive Her when She sought me. Embracing paganism (in conjunction with my Mormonism) opened the door for Her, and She did not hesitate to come into my life. 

And now I see her everywhere. She is in the moon and in the sea. She is in the trees and in the temple. She is in me, and She has become part of my daily life. In fact, within a few months of my initial experience, I was able to share in a Daughters of Mormonism podcastabout
some of the many symbols that help me connect to Mother Goddess. (If you're interested,
you can listen to it here.)

And now I realize, She was there all along, I just hadn't seen her.

There are many of us (mostly women, but not all) who have been finding and knowing our Goddess in recent months and years. Many mormons re uneasy about discussing Her or trying to know Her because little has been said via official sources, but more and more of  us are connecting with Her regardless. Some of my friends have expressed that they feel Her 'moving in the world' or that we 'have reached a tipping point.' I agree with them. She is standing at the door and knocking, waiting for us to receive her.

You can find other writing about Heavenly Mother, from Jenni by going to any of these links!!


Contemplating Mother Goddess http://motherwheel.blogspot.com/2011/01/contemplating-mother-goddess.html

Finding the Feminine Divine http://brightonwoman.blogspot.com/2011/06/finding-feminine-divine.html

Happy Mother's Day http://brightonwoman.blogspot.com/2012/05/happy-mothers-day.html