(***If discussing rape culture is uncomfortable, or if you want to argue about whether rape culture exists, please feel free to either not read, or read and not comment, on the post. I will be moderating the comments. If you can be respectful, and want to talk about your concerns, or ways to move forward, feel free to share your thoughts. We already know there are people who don't think rape culture exists, or who act like it doesn't exist or isn't important. If that is what you want us to know, we already heard you, and an argumentative comment section is *not* what I am interested in. I do hope that reading the post gives you something to think about, and that you have a great day!)
About a month ago, I shared a video on Google+ and Facebook. In case you haven't seen it, I still think it is worth watching. At the time, I got some flack on Google+, because I suggested that people skip the comments.
Here is my original post:
"I thought this video was wonderful, but suggest you skip the comments section. The commenters, (almost entirely men) pull out every misogynistic, homophobic argument in the defense of rape culture. The irony is that the comments section is exactly *why* we need men of courage, who will step up to the plate and look at the epidemic of rape, as the horror that it is!
Rape Cultural is real!
If you don't know someone who has been raped, then you either don't know many women, or you aren't someone who the women in your life feel safe talking to, about this issue.
I have heard often, that "we don't live in a rape culture because," and then the person goes on to give either a person story of someone who they don't believe was raped, or they use their ignorance of the problem as "proof" that it doesn't exist. For me, that is nonsense, bit after knowing a lot of victims of rape, incest and sexual assault, who both women and men, I do want to add something to the discussion, that is often missing. (In fact, I think the fact that the video in question gives specific ideas about how to change rape culture, may be part of the reason that so many rape culture apologists have attacked the man who made it.)
So, how do I know that I live in a rape culture? I know, because I can imagine what it would be like to not live in one. Here is my list of the top five (5) things that I think would be different if we didn't live in a rape culture. What would you add?
*We would have a society that agrees that the goal should be all sexual intimacy *should* be consensual, and we would be talking about what consent looks like, with our society's youth, at ages before sexual activity is common.
(Many people might wish that middle school students never had sex, (or that we could keep them from even knowing about it) but the reality is that we know a significant number of them are choosing to have sex at younger ages, and the less a young person knows about sex, the less able they are to have the knowledge to know what they are consenting to. I personally think that Abstinence Only sex education, feeds the ignorance, that rape culture needs to survive.)
What else do you think would be different, if we didn't live in a rape culture?